By: Melissa Frasco
It is not hard to agree that domestic violence is a horrendous crime. Just like it is not hard to wear purple for domestic violence awareness month (October) or share the number of a domestic violence hotline on social media. The reality of domestic violence is that it is much more nuanced. In the traditional depictions of domestic violence we imagine men committing violent acts against women. This is usually where the public’s imagination stops. However, people of all genders, all sexual orientations, ethnicities, and racial groups experience domestic violence. While my previous point is important to keep in mind, I would like to focus particularly on the undocumented women I have worked with in the past, and who are survivors of domestic violence.
Many of the women I worked with had experienced years domestic violence at the hands of an intimate partner. Some had even started experiencing the domestic violence in their country of origin, which then followed them to the United States. Working as a case manager I met these women some years out of their abusive relationships. Some moved in with family to get away from the abuse, others moved states, some were able to financially free themselves and no longer be dependent on their abusers. Like many other domestic violence survivors there is no right time to leave, in fact many women have an increased risk of homicide when they choose to physically leave a violent relationship. This is also why the idea of telling someone to “just leave an abusive relationship” can be a damaging.
Instead factors such as financial control/abuse, physical violence, emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, sexual abuse, and immigration status all play a role. For the women I worked with they had been threatened with having immigration called on them by their abusive partners. The threat of calling immigration or ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) typically is intertwined with the fear of deportation. With ever tightening restrictions that criminalize the everyday activities of undocumented folks coupled with brutality of domestic violence women in these situations can feel beyond helpless. These threats become so powerful to the point where these undocumented women are being threatened by their (sometimes) undocumented partners to have ICE called on them. I have seen examples of this in cases where women try to leave the abusive relationship or if they try to report the abuse they are experiencing. Women and especially immigrants become particularly vulnerable when they do not speak English and therefore have trouble understanding their own rights despite their immigration status.
Even though a relationship between two people who are undocumented may seem somewhat equal, power imbalances can still occur. Power imbalances typically occur when abuse, control, or power is unfairly exerted over someone for their gender, immigration status, financial situation, and their education (or lack thereof). These are just some of the common categories that women in domestic violence situations find themselves being exploited by.
Now that we have discussed the situations where some are unable to speak up due to fear, I would like to explore what happens when some women are able to report domestic violence. For the most part I worked with women who were undocumented and usually Spanish speaking only. For the most part domestic violence service providers have greatly increased their ability to cater to the experiences of undocumented and non-English speaking survivors. In the case of reporting domestic violence to the police the process becomes more complex. Despite some misinformation that exists, by law in New York City anyone has the right to call 911 in the case of emergency or if they feel that their life is in danger. Although, it is not easy to explain to someone who is undocumented that they can call 911 whenever they need to. This is true even though their immigration status is typically vilified by many public policies. For example, I worked with a woman who did at one point make a police report of the physical abuse she was experiencing. Despite being able to make the report, she was never informed properly on how to move forward with the case. Therefore, her charges never went forward, and years later when she was trying to file for a divorce she was looked down upon for not pursuing the charges years earlier when she tried to get a copy of her police report. Though following through with charges may seem like common sense to some, for someone who is not in the country they grew up in and does not speak the language following up with charges appears out of reach.
At the end of the day the woman who was unable follow through with charges after her police report does not signify that her abuse did not happen. Instead, it signified a lack of transparency and collaboration that our justice system is not capable of aiding survivors and immigrants.
Below I will list resources for domestic violence survivors and advocates:
Domestic violence and abuse can include:
Hitting, slapping, kicking or using any other kind of physical violence against you
Forcing you to have sex when you don't want to, or to do sexual things you don't want to do
Threatening to hurt you, your children, or someone else you care about or your pet
Constantly insulting and criticizing you
Stalking, obsessively checking up on or otherwise trying to control your behavior
If you or someone you know is experiencing this kind of behavior from a partner, please call New York City's 24 hour Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800- 621-4673
NYC’s 24-hour Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-212-227-3000; TTY 1-866-604-5350
NYC Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project: 212-714-1141
En Español
Nuestras tres líneas directas están disponibles las 24 horas, los 7 días de la semana, durante todo el año. El personal te puede brindar ayuda en español y en cualquier otro idioma. Contamos con consejeros listos para ayudarte en este momento.
Para violencia doméstica, llama al: 800-621–(4673).
Para víctimas de cualquier delito, que incluye apoyo a familiares de víctimas de homicidio, llama al: 866-689-HELP (4357)
Para sobrevivientes de violación y agresión sexual, llama al: 212-227-3000.
Llama al 311 para pedir información de la Ciudad de Nueva York y servicios que no sean urgentes.
En situaciones de emergencia, llama al 911.
More information and Service providers
Urban Justice Center - Domestic Violence Project (718) 875-5062
Sanctuary for Families (212) 349-6009
Safe Horizon (800) 621-4673
Find your Domestic Violence Service Provider based on your county (NY State)